HCM - Phụ kiện Nokia Lumia 925

Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog.

For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs.

For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs.

For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg.

As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.

 

Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

 

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?"
No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, "You should not be asking sixth graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!"
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"
Little Mary's mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, "Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!"
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?"
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."
Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Billy," then turned to Mary and continued. "As for you, young lady, I have three things to say:
One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn't read your homework And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed."

 

- Suspend: tạm ngưng
- Suspicious: đa nghi
- Tactful: tế nhị, khéo ứng xử
- Thoughtful: chu đáo, biết điều
- Ridiculous! thật nực cười
- So messy! Bừa bộn quá, lộn xộn quá
- Dont mess up! Đừng có làm rối tung lên nữa
- Dont bath mouth people! Đừng có nói xấu người khác
- Yuck! = Disgusting! = Sickening! Sucks! ghê, tởm quá
- Nuts! Đồ hâm (tính từ, phải có s)

 

- Fantastic = Fabulous = Great = Wonderful: tuyệt quá
- Watch your back! Mày coi chừng đó
- Nonsense! Vớ vẩn, nhảm nhí
- Bull****! xạo quá (khi ai nói điều j mà bạn cho là ko đúng, ko thật)
- ****! = Damn it! Mẹ kiếp
- Go for it! Khích lệ ai đi lấy cái gì hoặc đi làm gì
- All yours! Cho mày hết đó (nhường hết cái gì cho ai)
- Your turn! Tới lượt mày đó
- Go ahead! bật đèn xanh cho ai làm gì / nói gì => Nói đi / Làm đi
- Not your business! It has nothing to do with you! Ko fai việc của mày / Ko liên quan tới mày
- You reap what you sow = What goes around comes around = Cause and effect = Karma: Gieo gì gặt nấy / Nhân quả / Nghiệp
- Dont make drama! Đừng có làm quá lên thế
- Dont overreact! Đừng phản ứng thái quá như thế
- Dont talk against me! Đừng có cãi lại tao!
- Dont make excuses! Đừng có bào chữa nữa!

 

Khi chúc mừng:
- Cheers!
- Congratulations!
Khen tặng:
- Good job!
- Well done!
- I am very proud of you!
Khi có người qua đời:
- My condolence to you and yr family: xin thành thật chia buồn đến anh/chị và gđ
- Rest in peace = RIP: hãy yên nghỉ
- God has mercy on…: cầu chúa phù hộ cho… (ng đã chết)
- Pass away = Bite the dust = Decease = Die: chết
- The late: người đã khuất.

 

[h=2]buzz·word[/h] noun \ˈbəz-ˌwərd\: a word or phrase that becomes very popular for a period of time

 

A man walking along a Californian beach was deep in prayer.
All of a sudden, he said out loud, "Lord, please grant me one wish".
The sunny Californian sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, "because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I shall grant you one wish".
The man replied, "build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over whenever I want".
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking.The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific, the concrete and steel needed to cover so many miles! I can do it, but it is very hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time to think of another wish, a wish that you think would honour and glorify me".
So the man thought about it for a while, and finally said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they're thinking when they give the silent treatment, why they cry, what they really mean when they say 'nothing!', and how I can make a woman truly happy".
The Lord replies, "you want two lanes or four on that bridge?".

 

Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

 

The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"

 

So a hunter gets a new gun one day and decides to go hunting with it. He goes out into the woods and stumbles upon a nice-sized black bear, so he takes his gun and shoots the bear dead. Then he feels a tap on his shoulder...
The man turns around and sees this huge brown bear and the bear says
"That bear you shot was my friend, so the way I see you got two options, either you let me have sex with you or I maul you to death."
Now, the hunter doesn't want to die so he lets the bear have his way, and afterwards he waddles home and doesn't tell anyone.
Then next year comes around and he's gaining his confidence back so the hunter goes back into the woods and stumbles upon a brown bear. He gets his gun and shoots the bear dead when he feels a tapping on his shoulder.
The man turns around and sees a giant kodiak bear who says,
"That brown bear was my friend so the way I see it either you let me have rough sex with you or I maul you to death."
Again, the man doesn't want to die so he lets the bear have his way and waddles home not telling anyone.
Next year comes around and the man is gaining his confidence again so he goes out and eventually finds a kodiak bear. So the man takes his gun and shoots the bear dead when he feels a tap on his shoulder.
The man turns around and finds an enormous grizzly bear, and the bear says,
"Let's be honest, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"

 

Have you heard my joke about the Ebola outbreak yet?
Eh... Nevermind. You probably won't get it.

 

My grandad died a few weeks after my grandma passed away. At first I thought he died of a broken heart.
It turned out he couldn't cook.

 

A guy goes to a restaurant
and notices all the waiters had a spoon in their shirt pocket. He can't help but ask his waiter about the spoon and the waiter says: "Well, a Consulting Firm told us that having a spoon cuts the wait time when a patron drops theirs on the floor, we don't have to go all the way back and get another, just pull the one in our pocket" The guy is amazed at the answer, but then notices the male waiters had a string coming out of the pants fly and asks his waiter about it. "The same Consulting Firm -the waiter responds- said when we go pee, we waste so much time washing our hands that pulling it our with the string keeps us from having to handle it, and therefore we save time not having to wash our hands" Our guy sees a flaw in this and asks the waiter "Well, the string works pulling it out, but how do you put it back in?" to which the waiter says: "I don't know about the others, but I just use the spoon in my pocket"